i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Randomize
