Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
