Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
