I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
