Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
