Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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