You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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