she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize