Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
