Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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