I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
