She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
