he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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