we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
