come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
