there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
