had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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