I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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