i would punch a child for taco bell
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
