6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
