Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Randomize
