the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
