I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
