How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
