Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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