Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Is Oprah even human
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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