this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
