She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
