I didn't shave. On purpose
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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