I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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