Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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