ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize