I think im going to throw up on grandma
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Randomize
