He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
NoShamevember. You game?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
