He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
