i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize