3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
