she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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