The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I understand Curling. That high.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
