i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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