dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
