his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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