But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
