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• (815): View more from Illinois

  Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...

  (847): View more from Illinois

  And they lived happily ever after....

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?

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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.

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• (239): View more from Florida

  I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now

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• (406): View more from Montana

  I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad

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• (318): View more from Louisiana

  with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday

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