so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Ladies don't puke and tell
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
