and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
