new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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