i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
