I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
