Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
