so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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