One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
This toilet bowl is my home.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
