Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
