So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
