I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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