i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
