Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Drake has all the answers
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
